


Anxietus

by TOZ1ER



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Eddie-centric, F/M, M/M, Multi, Oneshot, PERIODT!!!!!!, Soz, a TRUE comedian right there, and dickard, and neither should u this is an au jan, baseball AU, baseball player!eddie, bc i love!!! him!!!, eddie calls richie roachie, eddie is canonically a mess confirmed, eddie is super stressed :(, established reddie, idc tho, i’m also a stanlon whore but everyone besides richie and eddie are straight, kinda like st in this mofo with the smoking LMAO, punk!richie, richie and eddie smoke a lot of cigarettes, richie is a dork but chill, so warning ig?, sorta - Freeform, sorta lmao, we STAN
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-29
Updated: 2019-07-29
Packaged: 2020-07-25 11:36:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20025157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TOZ1ER/pseuds/TOZ1ER
Summary: Eddie is stressed. But he’s got his friends and his boyfriend there to help him along the way.(title means “anxiety” in latin.....unless it doesn’t lmao)





	Anxietus

**Author's Note:**

> hello i’m back writing at four am bc i was bored and inspired
> 
> another one shot bc i can’t write slow burn for my life :/ as much as i want to lmao
> 
> any pls enjoy and pls leave any criticism or correct any mistakes, i enjoy seeing people’s opinions on my work. 
> 
> anyways tysm for reading! hope you enjoy <3

Eddie Kaspbrak has every reason to be a nervous wreck. He’s got a HUGE game coming up, one that determines if Derry High School’s varsity baseball team is the top in the district, and he’s worried about his top college not accepting him, and his mother is on his ass again because she found Richie’s cigarettes in his room that he’s secretly been using, and he feels like he failed his pre-calculus exam, and he thinks Midge from work hates him because she saw him stress smoking out of the bathroom window, and he’s worried about his deteriorating health because of his stress smoking, and all of these other nonsense things that don’t seem like nonsense to Eddie. 

Eddie hates stress because that leads to stress acne. And stress acne sucks. He helped Richie through his because he hated seeing Richie complaining about it and feeling insecure, when he shouldn’t have been. It wasn’t super bad, just some on his cheeks and forehead, but it cleared up just in time for Junior prom, which they went to with separate dates because they weren’t out yet. And they still weren’t, at least not to the school. But the rest of the Loser’s gang knew all too well. Even Patricia Blum, Kay McCall, and Audra Phillips, three girls the Losers have gotten to know since they were dating Stan, Mike, and Bill. They were all sweet, and Beverly felt slightly relieved to have some girl company after all these years. She felt the testosterone radiating from the boys was all too much sometimes, with their constant talk of girls, tits, farting and burping, or just any stereotypical “guy thing”. It felt good that she could talk about guys, clothing, and typical “girl things” with her girlfriends. 

Richie and Eddie got more separate from the group as they got older. They could never really relate to the other five, and both were dealing with insane internalized homophobia. That’s when both of them picked up a stress smoking addiction (Eddie not nearly as much as Richie), and began to get distant and bitchy. Richie stopped talking to the Loser’s for a while, he started dressing in darker clothing and even got three piercings with his mom’s permission, a septum, a stretched lobe, and a helix, which Eddie thought was hot, even though he would’ve never admitted that to Richie at the time, but he did when they started dating. Eddie was lonely and sad, and began to start stress eating. He gained some weight at that point and when he decided enough was enough, he joined the baseball team, getting inspired by his weight and the fact that he missed his Little League days. They were sophomores at that point, and now they were seniors. They all rekindled their friendship the summer before junior year, when Eddie became happier and more confident. Richie sought out change in himself, and though he never got rid of his more punk-ier aesthetic, he became a happier person once he got his friendship back on track with the gang. 

Richie Tozier watched his boyfriend pace around his bedroom. Richie had a cigarette dangling from his mouth, glasses perched low on his nose, and he was laying on his bed. 

“Eds, come lay down. Or have a smoke. You shouldn’t be stressing so much, it’s bad for you.” 

Eddie walked to the bed and grabbed Richie’s cigarette. “And this is bad for you,” Eddie took a drag from the cigarette and then put it out in the ashtray. He sighed and sat on the edge of the bed. “I, I’m sorry. I just can’t help myself. This game is worrying me. My team is depending on me, and this whole captain position has been making me lose my mind since I’ve gotten it.”

Eddie finally got the position of the captain of the varsity baseball team this year. He had made it to varsity upon tryouts, since he was the best underclassman, and he’s been working his ass off for the postition, but he’s been making way too big of a deal out of it since he received it. 

“Babe, it seems like you don’t even want the captain role. Like you’re not grateful...”

Eddie whipped his head to Richie. “How dare you say that?! I’ve dreamed of being captain ever since I joined the team, but I didn’t realize it’d be so fucking stressful. I’ve had it up to here with the stress, Rich.” He raised his hand above his head for emphasis on how stressed he was. 

Richie just sighed and scooted next to Eddie. He put his arm around him and brought him closer. Eddie just rested his head on his shoulder, sighing loudly and casting a look to the floor. 

“You’re going to be fine Eds. You have me and the rest of the gang right by your side. Ben can help you prepare for your next pre-calc exam, Stan the Man is your baseball teammate, so he can help you with those pop flies and fast balls before the game, I’m sure Midge doesn’t hate you, but she probably doesn’t like the idea of you smoking, and I can help calm your bearing mother down by making sweet love to her tomor-“

Richie was cut off by a playful punch to the shoulder. “Shut up you dingus!” Eddie laughed. Richie laughed as well, pulling Eddie into a hug. 

“I love you kid,” He sighed into Eddie’s chocolate hair. Eddie hummed in response against Richie’s chest, and they just sat there, in each other’s embrace, letting all the stress go in that moment, only focusing on the intimacy between the pair, troubles out of the window until the next day. 

•

The next day was here, and Eddie was silently debating on leaving the group study to go have a stress smoke. He looked around at the gang. Kay, Beverly, Patty and Audra were all sat together, books sprawled out in front of them, chatting about something that had nothing to do with Spanish. Bill and Mike were sipping on beer and engaging in an intense game of pong on the TV, and Richie, Ben and Stan were sat actually doing their AP Gov assignment. Eddie felt like a lost puppy, zoned out of the world, alone, and trying to find a place to land and forget about all of his stress. He had calmed a bit down from the previous night, with Richie’s comforting embrace being the medicine he needed to calm him down.

But that had pretty much run its course. The stress had begun to rise up again, and the cigarette in his backpack was calling out for him, begging to be used up faster than he could say his own name. He looked down at his notebook, the pre-calc homework shooting daggers at him, and he felt tears in his eyes. Everything felt like weights and this paper felt awfully heavy. He didn’t have the strength to deal with it.

He suddenly felt a tap on his shoulder. He looked up to see Ben, a paper clutched in his hand. He just simply handed Eddie the paper and said, “Next time, I’ll guide you through it. But you don’t need that stress on you right now.” And he left Eddie alone. The paper was in fact the same paper lying in Eddie’s lap, the homework that suddenly felt lighter and more bearable to handle. 

“Thank you Ben. Really, thank you.” He smiled genuinely and lovingly. He really did love Ben. He was a god-send when it came to math. The kid was a wizard at math. 

“No problem. Anytime.” He smiled bach and went back to his AP Gov assignment. Eddie looked to Richie, who was looking right back at him. 

“I love you.” Richie mouthed to Eddie. Eddie mouthed the same words back. He then looked down and begun to copy the homework Ben gave him, feeling a little better. 

•

Eddie was restocking the cigarettes behind the counter, as well as some other miscellaneous items, when he heard the ding of the door, signaling someone had entered. He looked up to see Richie, greeting himself to Mr. Keene and Gretta, who was blushing at every word Richie spoke, and then looking to Eddie every couple of seconds. Eddie watched him as he slowly moved around the store, picking up a bag of potato chips and some dried banana chips, as well as a bottle of coke and a water. He also grabbed a box of bandaids and then approached the counter, where Eddie stood, an amused smile spread across his face. The only sounds that were heard was the crinkling of the bags and the oddly soothing instrumental elevator music silently playing on the speakers. 

Richie dumped the items onto the counter. “Hello sir, I’d also like to purchase your finest cigarettes, if you offer? And I think I have a special prescription I ordered as well.” 

Eddie rolled his eyes playfully. “And what so happens to be the name of your prescription, sir?”

“I think it falls under the scientific name of, Eddi-us Spaghetti-us Need-us A Break-us.” Eddie rolled his eyes again, laughing as he turned around to pick out a pack of Marlboro’s, Richie’s favorite brand of cigarettes, and placed them on the counter. He glanced up at the clock above the door and then he placed both hands on the counter, leaning in toward Richie. 

“Well, Richard-us, I think your prescription will be ready in about seven minutes. But your total is $6.78.” Eddie took the ten dollar bill from Richie’s loose grasp and gave him his change. 

“I’ll be outside. You know where. See you then, Eddie-us.”

“Until then, Roachie.”

“Oooh, Eddie gets off on a good one!” Richie leans in to whisper in Eddie’s ear. “It’s hot.” 

And with that, Richie was out of the store, the plastic baggy full of junk swinging by his side. Eddie sighed and watched as Richie held the door for another customer, whom Eddie recognized, and he went about preparing for the longest seven minutes of his life. 

Once the seven minutes finally came to an end and he heard Mr. Keene’s voice say, “Eddie, you’re all done for the day. See you Monday.” 

“Bye Mr. Keene, have a good one.” Eddie said quickly, grabbing his stuff in the back, which wasn’t much, just his tupperware from lunch, and he left the store, turning down Westgreen Avenue to the small park where he knew Richie would be. He began to walk faster and faster, seeing his boyfriend get bigger and bigger in sight with each step. He was sitting on the bench in a secluded area, one that wasn’t too hidden, seeing as Eddie could see him from his walk there, but it was just secluded enough that it was private. 

Richie turned at the noise of footsteps and stood up. He smiled as Eddie cut through the grass to the bench, then giving Richie a huge hug. He was tired and hungry. 

Richie let go and scrambled through the bag to hand Eddie a bag of banana chips and a water bottle. “I wanted you to eat something a little healthy, since you’ve got your big game coming up on Friday,” Richie said. 

Eddie smiled. “Thank you Rich. I love you.” He said as he opened the bag and shoved a couple chips in his mouth. Richie then pulled out a cigarette and lit it, taking a short drag and then handing it to Eddie, who shook his head. He was fine eating his banana chips and sipping his water, enjoying his boyfriends company on the little bench they claimed as their spot. He didn’t feel like having a smoke. 

•

Eddie felt like he needed a smoke. It was Thursday, the day before his big game, the game that decided if the Derry High Daredevils were the leading baseball team of their district. Which would also decide if his team will move onto the semi-finals against the neighboring district’s team. It was wrecking Eddie up more than he wanted it to. And he had nothing to worry about. His team was good; he was good. He was shortstop, and a damn good shortstop at that. No grounder ever got past him. He was swift and quick getting the ball to his first baseman, who so happened to be Stanley. They had a great dynamic and worked extremely well together. 

Speaking of Stanley Uris, he was currently with him on the Derry baseball field, adjusting his glove and looking around at the bases. He looked at the reddish dirt that made the pathway for the batters to run and slide through, the old off-white bases that were starting to disintegrate, and the rusty fence that stopped the ball from getting past the umpire, and gave a place for the millions of bats and helmets to be protected. This place was like a home to him. It was familiar and beautiful and homey. 

“How about Patty hits some grounders and we can practice your throws.” Stan interrupted his moment. He snapped himself back into reality and looked at Patricia. She was off the field, by the bench, grabbing the bag full of baseballs. She had her softball batting gloves on and her bat was being held by Stan. He walked over and placed it on home plate and then proceeded to get to his position at first base. Patricia made her way to home base and Eddie walked to his position at shortstop. 

Patty grabbed a ball, tossed it up in the air and hit a grounder that was coming straight for Eddie. He scooped it up quickly and in one swift motion, threw the ball to straight to Stan, who took one step and caught it, leaving one foot on the plate. 

This process repeated, with some fly balls thrown in there, and neither of them noticed Richie’s presence on the bench, watching as Eddie kept his eye on a pop fly coming straight for him. He caught it and still threw it to Stan, who noticed Richie’s presence right before he could catch it. The ball flew right past him and off the field. 

“Richie, Jesus, you scared me.” Stan sighed. 

“Ah Stan the Man, you beautiful bastard. Sorry for scaring you. I didn’t think my hot face could do such a thing.” 

Patty laughed and shook her head. He turned to her and began spewing out typical Richie blabbers. “Oh Patricia, you have my heart. You’re a beautiful goddess, you know that?” He approached her, but stepped back when she lifted her bat in his direction. “Okay, maybe you’re a psycho bitch, nevermind!” He said as he ran away and toward Eddie. 

The three of them laughed at Richie’s dumbass shenanigans, even though it was expected. They always enjoyed Richie’s stupid humor, even if it could get a little annoying. But it only just added to Richie’s lovely character. He was a good person with a good heart. And everyone knew that and saw that. That’s what Eddie thinks made him so attracted to Richie. He was so magnanimous and selfless, while also being a stone cold honest bitch. It was intriguing and hot to Eddie. 

“Ah, Edward my boy. You look mighty sexy playing with balls.” Richie smirked. 

“Oh my god, shut up dork.” Eddie laughed. 

“Why play with a baseball when you could be playing with my balls?”

That statement earned a hard smack to the shoulder. Richie’s response was a laugh and a “I knew that was going to happen.”

After that, Richie sat on the bench and watched as Eddie practiced his batting and watched in awe as he hit perfectly and practically had the home-run material in the bag. He was amazing and Richie enjoyed every moment he could of the boy he called his. 

Eddie let every little stress problem go away with each crack of the bat to the ball, watching them fly away with ease. Richie clapped and whooped and cheered every time Eddie swung the bat. Even when he missed, he was still shouting words of encouragement. 

Eddie hates to admit that those little things make him fall for Richie more and more. But he loves them, and he loves Richie, and he knows, as long as Richie is there, by his side, supporting him through it all, he’ll be fine. 

•

Thirty minutes before the game, Eddie was sat in the locker room, an unlit cigarette clenched in his hand, and he was venting to Richie about his day. 

“I can’t even believe that my mother could do that. I told her that I don’t even do that kind of stuff, yet she told all of her knitting club friends that I do! Like, what kind of person does that, just casually telling their friends that their son is a pothead?! I’ve never even smoked pot in my life. The only time was when Bill’s dumbass made pot brownies and I was tricked into having them. And that wasn’t fun at all. And now, just because she found your pack of Malboro’s in my drawer, she’s suddenly spreading rumors. It’s annoying!” He huffed and crossed his arms. He wanted to scream with frustration, he was so mad and annoyed, but he was sure that Richie was sick of his bickering. 

“I’m sure it’s not that big of a deal. Have you tried talking to her?” Richie asked calmly. 

Eddie sighed. “...No. But I haven’t had the time! Everything has been so crazy and stressful and-“

Richie stopped Eddie from rambling by kissing him. Eddie calmed down instantly, humming into the kiss and easing into it. Their kiss was interrupted by a knock and a loud sigh. 

“You’re lucky I was the one that caught you two,” Stan said, staying in the doorway. “You guys have to be more careful.”

Eddie blushed with embarrassment and avoided looking in Stan’s eyes. He was right. They weren’t out to anyone in the school, besides the Losers and Co. And they didn’t plan on coming out anytime soon. They didn’t feel like dealing with the passive aggressive homophobic assholes and the girls who are looking for a gay bff to go shopping with. Neither of them wanted that. And they liked the intensity of a private relationship. It was thrilling and fun. 

“Anyway, it’s time to go. You’ll see him after Eddie.” And then Stan turned and left. 

Richie and Eddie both stood up, and then Richie placed both of his hands on Eddie’s shoulders. “Eds, you’re going to be fine, and you’re going to do great. I don’t and won’t care if you lose this game, you’re still going to be my boyfriend and your life will still go on. And we’ll still go have our celebratory cigar and milkshake at the diner after the game, regardless of the outcome. And if you ever need to refocus and get rid of the nerves,look for me. I’ll be right where you want me, watching. I love you, okay?” He then quickly kissed Eddie’s mouth and walked out. Eddie followed right behind him, cheeks pink and heart racing. 

The game went perfectly. It was quite cliché actually. 

The opposing team were up to bat first, and the team did exceptionally good. They had scored three runs in just the first inning, while the Daredevils did only somewhat good. Stan scored a run, while Eddie hit a pop fly that was caught in an instant. This threw Eddie off his balance, but once he looked for Richie, his nerves went away and he was back on track. 

By the top of the ninth inning, the score was 7-10, with the opposing team winning. The bottom of the ninth was the Daredevils only chance to win and move on to the semi-finals. 

At this point, every single base was loaded, and Brandon, the player before Eddie, got to the base after hitting four balls. But their team already had two outs and they were still losing, despite just earning one run. Eddie was a ball of nerves at this point. There was only a small percentage that they could win this thing; they needed now just two more points and all of that was dependent on Eddie. 

He was hoping that Brandon would’ve just hit a home run and ended the game right there, but that simply wasn’t the case, and now all eyes were on small little Edward James Kaspbrak. 

He stepped up to the plate anxiously, palms sweating profusely and helmet seeming oddly loose, even though it was his, and it was snug all of the other times he’s worn it. 

Richie was on the edge of his seat, fingers crossed and bottom lip at the verge of a bleeding point from being bit down on so harshly. 

The opposing team’s pitcher glared daggers at Eddie. He wound his leg up and swerved the ball. Eddie froze for a split second, and swung too late. He heard the umpire’s loud “STRIKE ONE!” and his breathing became heavy and unmatched. 

He watched as the pitcher wound up again and threw the ball in his direction. He swung late again, and the umpire’s “STRIKE TWO!” felt like a bullet through his chest. He stepped back from the plate, shaking his head and sighing. He finally looked to Richie, desperately needing some guidance to get him back in the game. Richie was staring right at him, and the little nod Richie gave him was all he needed to get him to refocus. 

He stepped back to the plate, cracking his neck and raising the bat, glaring at the pitcher, who wound up the ball again, for the last time. He watched the ball come at him, seeming so slow, yet so fast. And it was the joyous noise of the hall cracking against the metal bat that sent the crowd into an anticipated frenzy, wondering if someone was going to catch it and end the game right there. 

But as Eddie darted for first base, he heard the announcer say, “And a home run by Eddie Kasbrak! What a night for the Daredevils! They’re going to the semi-finals!” Eddie froze for a second before hearing the cheers from his friends, encouraging him to finish running the bases. Which is what he did. He ran through all the other bases before going to his friends and jumping into Richie’s arms. They all enveloped him into one big hug. Eddie felt so loved and proud. 

He left the group for a quick second to hug his teammates, hooting and cheering for everyone and getting pats on the back for his winning hit. 

His mother and father came up to him after, receiving warm and loving hugs from them both, and a crisp twenty dollar bill as a congratulation gift. They knew of his whereabouts for after and told him his curfew time (that probably wasn’t going to matter because they’d be sleeping) and they left him to be with his friends. 

He approached Stan and gave him a huge hug. He then walked up to Richie and fell into his arms. 

“You did it kid!” Richie said into his hair. Eddie hummed and hugged Richie tighter.

“Not without you.”

Richie hummed to that. They both just stood their in each other’s arms, not caring about their surroundings, enjoying the atmosphere and the love that radiated off of each other. 

The diner was fun. They all pushed together tables and ordered a shit ton of milkshakes that the group of ten equally shared, and once the excitement of the young night calmed down, Eddie and Richie excused themselves to go outside for a bit to catch some fresh air. 

“Now, I think you promised me a celebratory cigar? Or was I mistaken, Mr. Tozier?” Eddie rocked back and forth on his feet, looking up to his boyfriend. 

He swiftly pulled out a thick cigar from his pocket, as well as a lighter. Eddie sighed with relief as the pair sat down on the bench outside the diner. He watched as Richie struggled with the old lighter but eventually got it to work, lighting the cigar with ease. 

Eddie took it from him to have the first drag, pretending to act like some high and tight CEO of a company. He stroked a pretend cat in his lap. “Well well well, I wasn’t expecting to see you here.” He said in a mock 20’s accent. 

Richie laughed at him. “I love you.” He smiled dopily at Eddie as he took the cigar from his mouth. He took a drag, and then another, before handing it back to Eddie. 

This happened until Eddie started coughing a little. Richie admitted himself that cigars were only for “the CEO bitches with the fluffy cats” before he put it out in the public ashtray enclosed by heaps of cigarette butts. 

They watched cars go by and heard the faint laughter of their friends inside. They sat in comfortable silence, until Eddie spoke up. 

“I’m not so stressed anymore Rich.” He said quietly. 

Richie looked down at him. He brought his arm to drape around him loosely. “Well I’m glad. I missed the old Eddie.”

“Oh?” Eddie replied. 

“Oh what? You’ve been such a nervous wreck lately, you weren’t yourself. And it was starting to get me a little stressed. But I missed this calm little meatball, who somehow agreed to get lung cancer with me and talk about absolutely nothing and kiss me and love me. I missed you, Eds.”

“Oh,” Eddie sighed. “I guess I missed my old self too. And I’m sorry for making you stressed.” He leaned into Richie, taking in his scent of lavender and cigarette smoke, one that’s supposed to keep you calm, the other one giving him a sense of familiarity. 

Richie kissed the top of his head. “Let’s go back in, huh? I think Beverly misses me. And I can hear Stan getting bitchy that we’re not in there.” He stood up, holding out his hand, which Eddie took promptly.

Eddie kissed his hand, Richie doing the same, before the let go and walked in together, finishing their beautiful night with their beautiful friends and their beautiful milkshakes.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! make sure to leave comments like requests, corrections, and criticism. it is much appreciated. until next time! <3 ;)


End file.
